Stopping Procrastination.

Last night, 9 pm, I am in my room staring as the clock passes, minute by minute, hour by hour.  I know I have a homework assignment due the next day and I know that it will take me at least three hours-So why, at 9 pm am I sitting at home, watching YouTube videos?

Procrastination is something that affects almost every person. However, procrastination can keep us away from success because it makes it impossible to effectively manage time.  Yet, when I see the successful people around me, I see people who never put things off until the last minute. I see people who complete tasks well and efficiently.  These are the types of people that I consider amazing.  

To stop procrastinating, we must understand why we do it.  According to prominent neuroscience theories, the need to procrastinate lies in the prefrontal cortex.  This part of our brain wants immediate pleasure, so we tend to waste time doing whatever we can to fulfill that need.  This can be anything from cleaning to watching television-just something that gives us immediate gratification.   This part of our brain battles with the part of our brain that knows doing something now will help us in the long run.

Of course, the need for immediate pleasure is only one factor in procrastinate.  Humans tend to misjudge how long tasks will actually take.  This makes sense. How many times have you told yourself that “This will only take 30 minutes, I will do it during my lunch break” only to find yourself up all night trying to finish that time consuming work?

Although it does not apply to me personally, some people claim they get a rush when putting things off to the last minute.  I once read a tip that, if this applies to you, set your own personal deadline.  If you procrastinate to the personal deadline rather than the actual one, it is not as detrimental to your grade or life style.

When I start working, I start thinking of all of the other chores I should also do.  This is a form of procrastinating. One way I have found to prevent this is my five rock list.  I only allow myself to do those rocks in a day and then, if I remember another chore that I need to complete, I add it to a master list and then choose it as a rock the very next day.

Or maybe you are a perfectionist.  Sometimes, I have this problem too.  I start a task and try to make it so perfect that I forget to move onto another one.    My five rock list has helped me here as well.  Lately, I finish my project to what is considered bare minimum effort.  Then, I finish my rock list for the day.  When my rock list is completed, I can go back.  To be honest, often times I don’t and no matter what, my work is quality.

I think procrastination is a habit.  It is something we do, but it is also something we can break.  But, like all habits that need to be broken, it takes patience and hard work.  Knowing why we procrastinate and how to stop is a step towards becoming amazing. 

Update 2/25/2013

I know I have been pretty bad about keeping to my schedule.  It’s especially difficult to write when you know nobody is even reading.  But I think that shouldn’t matter as long as I am doing this for myself.  So I have decided that I need to keep regular checkups on my goals.  So, once a month I will be writing about how my goals are going.  I have decided that it must be in the last week of the month as well.  

My first goal was eating well…which has been going miserably. I know what I should be doing better, but I procrastinate on going to the grocery store to actually buy the healthy food and find myself eating another cheeseburger. 

Exercise, has been the same.  I never can find time for the gym.

Not procrastinating has been okay. Although there are plenty of times that I find myself up half the night studying, I have been keeping up pretty well.

And, honestly, I do not feel too bad about how this blog has been going.  Yeah, I have skipped a few days, but mostly I have been keeping up and posting quite regularly. 

Anyway, if anyone is actually reading, let me know in comments if you have any tips on how to keep up on goals.  

When is it okay to be mad?

This is a serious question for me.  One of my biggest pet peeves is when people do not respect my time.  I hate when people cancel on me, no matter how good the reason.   And I mean that seriously. One time I was angry at my dad for missing out on plans we had because my sister broke her arm and had to go to the hospital.  Yes, I was nine at time, but the fact remains.

In the past week, several people cancelled on plans.  One of the biggest was my plans to attend “The Color Run.”  In this situation, I yelled until I realized that I was truly and unnecessarily hurting the person receiving.  Other times I ignore until the person understands that I am mad or I get over it myself. 

And when I get angry, I have problem letting things go.  It upsets me and weeks later I am still stewing in anger.  When you stew, when you choose not to forgive, you become less happy.  Although there are many exceptions, I have found that the less people you have grudges against, the happier you become.

On the other side, you must recognize that you should not let people push you are around.  If the person seriously wronged you, if the person is a bad influence, if the person takes without giving, then you should let them know that you do not like what they have done.  And although, I tend to let them know a little louder than is normal, I recommend keeping your composure and calmly taking them aside.

So, to summarize, love as much as possible but hold your ground until if it is important to you. 

Does the amount of money you make matter?

The other day, I was discussing with a friend of mine what we wanted to do when we graduated.  He was keen on the idea of making a lot of money.  I told him that I never really thought that being wealthy was important.  I mean, I want to own a house, have kids and travel as much as possible.  But, besides that, having an insane amount of money has never really appealed to me. 

I mean, once you get past a certain amount of money, what exactly do you do with it?  I buy my clothes at department stores, I love finding bargains and I am pretty happy with driving my civic.  I view most name brands as things being expensive for the sake of being expensive.     I guess, I kind of like having the expensive things as a treat rather than as my life style. 

So does money facilitate in happiness?  According to an article I found at the Kiplinger website, which I will link down below, when people reach $75,000 a year, the amount of happiness they have tends to level off.  In fact, there is very little difference in the amount of happiness between $50,000 and $500,000 is virtually nonexistent.   The article goes further to state that humans have a tendency to adapt.  So, when we make more money, it’s cool at first, but we adapt to it and want more.  So, no matter how much we make we will always want more.  

What I think happens to people, is that they have this need to want.  Part of the fun of having something, is wanting it for a very long time.  You dream about it, save for it.  I can honestly remember several times that I have wanted something from a beanie baby, to a new computer and the second I get it, no longer like it.  I love saving and hoping and I get my happiness from there.

            So, being amazing isn't about selling yourself for money, it’s about doing what you love and being with who you love.  It’s about appreciating what we have and not selling our souls for what we want.

http://www.kiplinger.com/article/investing/T031-C023-S001-can-money-make-you-happy.html

Luck

So I have been pretty bad about writing lately, but I should hope to fix that.  I am going to change my writing schedule to Monday, Wednesday and Saturday instead of the normal Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday I had been following….sort of.   This is because I have more free time on Monday and Wednesday and hope to be more consistent with writing.

            Yesterday had both moments of extreme luck and moments that would most likely be considered unlucky.

            1.  It was raining. I hate rain. (unlucky)

2.  I was told I needed to go into work as soon as I got out of class for a meeting, even though I usually do not work on Tuesdays.  (unlucky)

3. While walking to work in the rain, my friend offered me a ride (lucky)

4.  Walk into the building.  It was slippery, I tripped on myself.  My friend asked if I was okay and then proceeded to tell all of my coworkers throughout the day.  (unlucky)

5.  While walking back to school from work I found a $50 bill on the ground.  (Lucky)

6.  Found homework difficult (unlucky)

7.  Made a new friend while asking for help on homework (Lucky)

The point I am trying to make, is that there is no such day, item or prayer that will make your day luckier.   The things that we believe are “Lucky” are that way due to three items: Perception, hard work, pure coincidence.   I perceived the rain and going to work as unlucky, so they became unlucky.  But if I thought that rain was a good thing or that going into work was helpful ( I still got paid after all), then they could become lucky.  On the flip side, if I perceived my friend driving me to work (I needed to get exercise) or making a new friend (maybe I would have learned more if I did it myself) as unlucky, then I could have had unlucky moments. 

People often confuse hard work for luck.  I have heard so many people tell hard working individual that they are “lucky” for all the awards and success that they have earned. Luck had nothing to do with it.  Let’s look at my moments from yesterday.  Perhaps if I had remembered to wipe my feet or wear rain shoes, then I would not have slipped.  Or, if I had paid more attention in class or had made time to go to office hours, then I would not have found the homework so hard.   

And yes, luck comes from coincidence.  Finding the $50 can really be attributed to nothing more than coincidence.    I did not know that I would find that money on the ground, nor did I expect it.  But my luck is another person’s misfortune. 

But whatever happens, happens.  The truth is we think that some person if luckier than the other.  That picking up heads up pennies on the ground, carrying a rabbit’s foot or wearing that special underwear is going to make us luckier.  But the truth is life is going to come up heads just as many times as it comes up tails.  It’s what you do with what life gives you that matters.

Heros part 2: comparison

One of the biggest pit falls I have noticed in success, is comparison.  As I mentioned last week, comparison can be very good, but you have to be very careful with it.  Everyone is different.  The way you learn can be vastly different than how your classmates learn and the way you perceive something is by definition going to be different than the way someone else does.  It is important to keep that in mind.

Another problem with comparison is that people lie and exaggerate.  Everyone wants their accomplishments to mean something.  In order to impress, they may say something that is far from what is actually true.  That doesn’t mean that you should belittle your own accomplishments.  Just remember that you need to do what works for you.

 Maybe, you do need to study twice as long for a test than your friend, but you should just plan for that accordingly.  Success is realizing who you are and finding what you need to do with what you are given. 

Heroes part 1

Throughout your life people always talk about the importance of positive influence, idols and heroes.  This leaves a very important question:  Should amazing people look for towards other amazing people for reference?   In my experience, yes, but be careful.  There is always a danger in comparing. I think, to save time and give myself more topics for discussion, I will give this topic in two parts.

A hero can be anyone.  It really can.  You can admire a four year old for its honesty or an eighty year old for its experience.   In fact, you can admire the good in anyone and try to one day achieve it.  To be honest, I have never really been able to look at celebrities or famous heroes for guidance.  In my mind, I feel like I have to know someone in order to understand what makes them amazing. 

Although, I try to find the strengths in everyone, I can name four people I admire more than anyone else in the world:

1.                 My mother

a.       My mother is the kindest person you will have ever met.  She has this strange way of seeing the good in people, even when none of us can.  Her incredible modesty is both a trait I hope to have inherited and secretly wish I didn’t, because it overwhelms her.  But what I admire the most about my mother is how she followed her dreams even when it seemed too late in life.   After having four kids, my mother decided that she wanted more out of life than just raising kids; she wanted to become a lawyer. So, she took her bio-physics degree and applied to law school.  For three years, she was both a full time student and a full time mom.  I honestly don’t know how she slept.  She is always someone I can count on and she never lets me down.   She graduated in the top 10% of her class and is now a successful lawyer.

2.                  My sister

a.       My sister is thirteen years old and bothers me half the time.  She is an intense person.  She cares, she cries, she works and she loves harder than anyone I know.  The thing I admire most about her is her ability to achieve whatever she sets her mind towards.  She has perfect grades in school, a track star and a singer.  She is amazing and will be that way for the rest of her life.

  

3.                   My best friend

a.       My best friend has had a rough life and I could write several posts on it, if time allowed.  But here is the cliff notes version:  At the age of 16 she moved from Brazil, with her sister to live with her mother.  She and her mother never got along, but because the American schools are better, she decided the move was worth it.  At the age of 18, her mother kicks her out of the house because she could afford to keep a child.   Then, even though she had perfect grades, the high school she had spent three years at kicked her out because they claimed she had a high school diploma from Brazil.  She lost her scholarship for that.  She then had no money and had to pay for all her expenses.  So, she would 60 hours a week as a lifeguard and saved everything she could.  Eventually, she applied to school and received a large scholarship.  She now gets straight “A’s” as a chemistry/civil engineer, while going to school full time and working 40 hours a week.  She is the most amazing person I have ever met outside of my family and am glad to call her my best friend.

4.                     My father

a.       I think if I were to pick just one hero, I would choose my father.  He came from nothing.  His family was poor, his dad never around.  Beside the setbacks, he ended up recieving perfect grades all the way through grad school.  He was the father every child deserves and I can count on him for anything.  He is honest and straight forward and teaches me the value of working hard and caring for those you love.  A lot of times, people tell me that when you are a child you are supposed to realize that your father isn’t a super hero, that he is just a person.  Maybe I still have some growing up to do, because he is still my superman.

I think as a homework assignment, anyone who reads through this post should try to list their heroes and why they inspire you and comment if you have a special one.  It truly makes you appreciate all the amazing people you have in your life.

Learning to laugh at yourself

I think one of the most important traits anyone can pick up is the ability to laugh at oneself.  Because lately I have been a little bit less than perfect at getting everything out on time and because I want to be able to show importance of being able to laugh at yourself, I will tell you one of my most embarrassing stories.

            So it was a few years ago.  After a long day of tests, my friends and I decided to go out to dinner. It was a large group of people and almost all of them shared a few classes with me.  The table roared with conversation and laughter and the large table had split into many side conversations as it usually does.  At this point in the story, I was conversing with maybe one person and was being largely ignored by the group, so the waiter sees me and walks up to me and ask me if I would like a refill on my drink. 

            My drink wasn’t completely empty and I am pretty sure he only offered to refill my drink because he was bored and wanted something to do.  So he reaches over and picks up my cup and then looks at me and says through the noise:

            “Oh, would you like to finish this off?”

            I thought this was a strange request, but I figured he just wasn’t a wasteful person and didn’t want the amount of soda left in to cup to go to waste.  To this day, I do not know what compelled me to do this, but, for some reason, I decided to get up, out of my chair and sip the soda out of the cup WHILE the waiter was holding the cup.  Suddenly, the table got quiet and I looked up to see the waiter have a look of shock and disgust on his face.  It was at that moment I realized the waiter didn’t say, “Would you like to finish this off,” but rather, “Would you like to take your straw?”

            I sit in a quiet embarrassment as my face glows red and the waiter scurries away, straw and all.  The table gets quiet for a bit, until one of my friend looks at me and says, “Well, you are a dork” and the table bursts into laughter, me included.

            So yeah, the next day, everyone, including my teachers, made fun of me when hearing the story.  And yeah, even years later, I get people walking up to me with a cup saying “would you like to finish this off?”  But, I laugh alongside them.  Because if you laugh alongside them, then the world is filled with a little more laughter, and we all feel a little more amazing because of it.